To be happy, you need to be an individual but it takes work
I was talking with a friend last night about feeling politically and culturally homeless. I said to her, “You don’t have to choose a side.”
She responded, “Thank you. No one has ever said that to me besides myself.”
The culture war makes it feel like people have to adopt one side or the other wholesale. They feel the need to say the right things to find acceptance in a group. That turns politics into fashion—something worn for the approval of others—which is why there’s so much deep confusion inside hearts and minds (don’t buy the confidence you see here from friends).
People need formation, not fashion.
What does that look like? Spending time away from social media, having tough in-person discussions, and thinking deeply about their own values and principles—for personal conduct, relationships, and how society functions as a whole. Read books, magazines, and long-form pieces instead of just 30-second videos. A book is a distillation of someone’s hard thinking over years, not just a hot take created in the moment.
Once someone has sketched out some kind of framework for their beliefs, it’s time to test things out in the marketplace of ideas—with the goal of 50% sharing something of value and 50% listening to find something of value from others.
Individualism (vs. collectivism) means strong individuals create societies through their own actions. Strength can’t be imposed from the top down. If a society lacks justice, righteousness, gentleness, peace, intellectualism, patience, self-control, and so on, it’s because individuals first gave up doing the hard things—in their head and then in their heart.
Sometimes it takes shutting up for a year, reading six books, writing about them in a journal, and only then speaking up.
I’ve heard from many people this week who want to speak up but are afraid. It’s a feeling of insecurity that comes from outsourcing their thinking to others. When the foundation is built improperly, an earthquake can cause massive cracks—or total destruction. But the one built well, through deep thought, can withstand anything.